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Fellow Feminist Fashion Bloggers and I are tackling dating and relationships this month (check out the roundup of this month's themed posts here). I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to invite my partner, Alex, to contribute to the ongoing discussions about feminism, identity, and fashion that we have been having here in blogland. Together, we created a questionnaire addressing these topics and answer those questions from our own unique perspectives below.
Alex and I have been together for nearly three years, and during that time our identities have shifted in major, important ways. In discussing our relationship, we are opening up a part of our live in this post that usually remains separate from blogland. As such, we are a bit more vulnerable and sensitive so I ask that you be respectful and thoughtful in your responses. I do not tolerate homophobia or transphobia in any aspect of my life, online or otherwise.
Alex and I have been together for nearly three years, and during that time our identities have shifted in major, important ways. In discussing our relationship, we are opening up a part of our live in this post that usually remains separate from blogland. As such, we are a bit more vulnerable and sensitive so I ask that you be respectful and thoughtful in your responses. I do not tolerate homophobia or transphobia in any aspect of my life, online or otherwise.
Alex tackles fashion, feminism, and identity...
How I would describe my personal style: Urban…indie style
My fashion icons: Jay-z and Adam Lazzara.
My favorite places to shop: Thrift stores and (when I can afford it)… Urban Outfitters
No outfit is complete without….. a Fitted cap and a new tattoo
My favorite article of clothing/accessory: T-shirts and fitteds
I wish _________________ would come back in style: 90’s style…jean jackets and the "I don’t give a hell" attitude with fashion
Fashion guilty pleasure: soft tee’s and fitteds
Lesson about style I learned from my partner: Color and pattern matching. I think I may be color or pattern blind. Why can’t I wear a plaid button shirt with camo shorts?
Most embarrassing fashion moment/phase: Pleather…it’s cheap, and the I just woke up look that I finally grew out of.
One article of clothing/accessory that my partner would love to throw out: Usually my shoes….I would wear a pair of shoes, especially flip flops or moccasins, until there would be nothing left.
What I love most about my body: Sometimes as a pre-op trans-masculine person I have a lot of things I would love to change about my body but there are some things that I am SO thankful for. ..for example….my shoulders and my stocky legs and my big blue eyes.
Favorite thing about my partner and his/her sense of style: Krystal has an amazing sense of style in general. She is great at styling her make-up with her outfit and finding a great deal on clothes!
What I want my personal style to convey to others: Masculinity. Again as a pre-op trans-masculine person I encounter the issue of “passing” often. I want to pass and in some situations feels like it is necessary. I like clothes that are not tight fitting due to natural curves and I think “man-acceries” are key: necklaces….hats …etc
How I use fashion to express my identity: It’s important that my fashion expresses my gender identity at this point in my life. Due to financial and health issues I am not currently able to take testosterone or have the resources to help others see me for who I am. So it is important that my fashion expresses who I am for those who may not read me for who I am.
How my personal style has changed/evolved since I have been with my partner: I have grown up a lot with Krystal. My style has changed on its own but with Krystal’s help, I have gone from young and wild bedhead to more sophisticated and put together.
Fashion and feminism are connected because…. Fashion and feminism are connected because gender identity and sex are STILL being confused. My gender identity is closely related to my fashion expression. I wear what makes me comfortable in my own body and most importantly I like to convey in my fashion expression that men CAN BE feminists. Almost any store that sells men’s clothing has a section with t-shirts that are degrading to women. I choose not to wear the t-shirts that have two women kissing because I know who is actually buying them....and it is not lesbians.
Krystal tackles fashion, feminism, and identity...
How I would describe my personal style: Part 80’s Biker Chick, part Boho, and part professional nerd.
My fashion icons: Lad Gaga, Kathleen Hanna, my mom!
My favorite places to shop: Second hand shops, local boutiques, and mainstream places like Urban Outfitters, Wet Seal, H&M when I buy something new.
No outfit is complete without….. mascara and lipstick!
My favorite article of clothing/accessory: I’ve recently gotten really into off the shoulder, loose fitting crop tops (worn over a cami- no belly buttons invited to this party!).
I wish _________________ would come back in style: Oh, so many things! Fanny packs, big messy hair, and white denim. Don't judge me.
Fashion guilty pleasure: Leopard print forever!
Lesson about style I learned from my partner: Alex has a much more spontaneous, carefree personality than I do and his style definitely reflects this. He has taught me not to over think what I wear, and that ultimately I need to be comfortable with myself regardless of what others may think of my style choices.
Most embarrassing fashion moment/phase: On the first day of eighth grade I wore neon pink snake skin pants with a black crochet sweater, platform shoes, and more accessories than one should ever think about wearing at one time. I also crimped my hair and attempted a “sunset” eye shadow look with bright pink and gold that day. I thought I looked fabulous at the time, but I cringe now!
One article of clothing/accessory that my partner would love to throw out: Probably a jacket I bought when I traveled to Scotland in high school. It is a camouflage bomber jack with (brace yourselves) a giant pink and purple embroidered quail on the back encrusted in sequins. It is pretty hideous, but I still love it!
What I love most about my body: I think I have a great ass!
Favorite thing about my partner and his/her sense of style: My favorite thing about Alex in general is his compassionate, loving heart and his youthful, fun loving spirit. In terms of style, Alex has no problem borrowing from different genres and styles to construct his own sense of fashion. He has no loyalties to a particular “look” or brand, and just wears what works for him.
What I want my personal style to convey to others: It depends on the setting. When I am in a professional environment, I want people to take me seriously as a scholar so I want to present myself as being polished and classic, but I still want my individuality to show through. In general, I like to present as a high femme with a rough edge that is slightly outside of the fashion mainstream.
How I use fashion to express my identity: When I first came out as queer it was really important to me that other people actually see me as queer. Being closeted means you are literally invisible, so the freshly out 14 year-old me donned all of the cultural symbols of queerness I could think of (rainbows, pixie haircut, puka shell choker….eeek!). Also, when I came out I didn’t have any role models (in real life or in the media) of queer women who were also very feminine so I thought I had to ditch that part of myself to be accepted in the queer community. As I grew older and came into my identities more, it became less important that the way I stylize my body explicitly communicate my sexual identity to others and for the most part people read me as being a heterosexual woman. Now, I embrace my high femme identity and find it empowering to be both queer and femme, and like to express that in my fashion choices.
How my personal style has changed/evolved since I have been with my partner: I was femme when Alex and I met, but I was not overly concerned with makeup unless there was a special event. Since then, my makeup stash/obsession has evolved from a small cosmetics bag to a full vanity! I have also come more into my own as a femme woman and my closet reflects that as well.
Fashion and feminism are connected because…absolutely everything in this world is political. How clothing is made, fashion advertisements, and our fashion choices are all totally bound up with issues of gender and sexuality, as well as race, class, and so forth. Sometimes we like to think that our participation in the fashion industry is somehow disconnected from our society’s “bigger issues,” or dismiss fashion as being trivial and superficial. However, as the Feminist Fashion Bloggers have been exploring for a while, every aspect of the fashion industry and our participation in it is intimately connected with the social, cultural, and political dimensions of our world.
I hope your liked our consideration of feminism, fashion, and identity. We certainly had a great time coming up with the questionnaire and answering the questions!
What do you want your fashion choices to say about your identity?
Is your style influenced at all by your significant other?
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